Storybrooke Downs Liveblog pt 2

kmomof4
Seeing him in person means actually apologizing. Actually apologizing means admitting she's wrong, and admitting she's wrong is a hard pill to swallow.


😏

kmomof4
"I didn't say I'd feed him pizza for four days. We can also order Chinese."

"Emma!"


😆😆😆

initiala
the kid's a picky eater, mm, go with it lol

kmomof4
"It's just going to be the three of you."

Fuck.

Her phone can't come out of her pocket fast enough. She starts a new group text. 'Hey, what's everyone doing Saturday? Me and Leo have a standing Derby date. Come over w appropriate food and hats around 10'


Booo Emma!!!!
There are butterflies flitting about in his stomach as Killian mounts the stairs to the Nolans' front porch. He'd told himself all morning that there's no reason to feel nervous about this. It's just two friends watching sports all day. With a child in the house. It's completely innocent.


And she didn't tell him??? Double boooo Emma!!

kmomof4
Killian blinks a few times before he recognizes Anna Adgarssen,


Awwwwwwww they're not married yet????!!!!

initiala
all will be revealed in good time :)

kmomof4
Emma chokes on her tea. Anna grabs a stack of napkins as Emma splutters and tea goes everywhere, feeling like she's coughing up her lungs as she's patted down. Elsa hammers on her back with a fist until Emma holds up her hand to stop. She can feel every eye on the room on her and she just wants the attention off her, so she flaps her hand at the others to carry on. Anna grimaces apologetically as conversation picks back up. "Sorry," she says softly. "I should have dropped that bombshell a little softer. I thought you had that look in your eye, all the kids did, but I thought I might be mistaken. I haven't worked with anyone who aged out of the system before. How long were you in one?"


BLESS!!!!!!
Emma's hands are cold. She knows 'that look' that Anna's talking about. It's the one that made the Nolans buy Princess, the one that made David grab her by the hand and drag her home for dinner. It's the look that got her mercilessly bullied at eight different schools in the span of five years, the look she'd seen every day reflected back at her in the mirror until she learned to hide it behind a mask of indifference.

The look of someone who was lost and just wanted to find her way home.



❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😫😫😫❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
Emma turns herself fully to face him and takes a deep breath. "This," she says, and she grabs his shirt, pulling him to her, their lips crashing together.


Yesssssssssssss

kmomof4
"That was…" he breathes, unable to find the right word. Eye-opening? Astounding? Life-changing? Magical?

"Something we both needed to get out of our systems," she finishes, and she releases him.


Ughhhhhhhhh Emma!!!!!!

initiala
i made y'all wait a loooooooong time for that kiss haha

kmomof4
Oh, God. I should… leave. Just go. Before I do something really stupid.

'Implying you haven't already.' Killian doesn't know when he's forgotten exactly how his brother's laugh sounded, but it bothers him. He knows it's not correct, but he can't recall what it should be instead. There's no one else left to remember it, and he can't even do it properly.


Ohhhhhhh bless him!!!!
But that whole conversation with Liam was so cute and funny!!!

kmomof4
There is one solace to his dilemma, though. The thought makes him smile wistfully.

Unlike the last time he needed this much whisky, at least Emma's still alive.


Oh bless him!!!!

initiala sent a GIF

you have no idea how much I'm just sitting here like

kmomof4
"Yeah, beating yourself over the head is 'peachy'," David quips.

Emma's rough with the cookware, ignoring her brother while he leans against the fridge with his arms crossed, watching and waiting. She knows what he's doing: he thinks if he stands there long enough, she'll open up to him. Worse, he's usually right. She putters around, ignoring his watchful gaze. She decides to get fancy and steam some broccoli to put on top of the macaroni and cheese - let Mary Margaret believe this is how it's been all weekend - while also drawing out the time she's going to let David wait for her.

The record is two hours. She can't see herself holding out that long today.


I am grinning so much at this!!! LOVE it!!!!

kmomof4
Ohhhhhh that was heartbreaking!!!!

kmomof4
She kicks Blackheart into a trot, posting again, and he has to remind himself to keep his eyes above her waist as he follows her through the woods. Killian Jones is no saint, though - his eyes do wander lower as they take the meandering path back to the farm. Watching her hips roll with the trot is mesmerising and he's rediscovering that riding with an erection isn't the craic it could be.


😆😆😆

kmomof4
Ooooooooo thank you for that!!!!! Sooooo good!!!!! Going to bed now. Will read more tomorrow!

initiala
:))))))) you're welcome! night!!
(I'm copying all of these over onto my dreamwidth for posterity, jsyk)

Storybrooke Downs Liveblog pt 3

kmomof4
Ok, what are some of these Irish words? I'm reading their first time again.

mhuirnín
a ghrá geal

kmomof4
Killian has now laid down behind her, his beard scraping lightly against her hip as he presses small kisses along her thigh. "Okay. Let me just - ahhhh, fuck, knock it off!" Emma says without thinking as he bites her gently.




Oh this is a hoot!!!!

kmomof4
She's about to reply that no, it's only being a tease when you don't intend to follow through, but then she remembers that she doesn't intend to follow through. This can't go on past today. She has her job, she has her family, the farm, she has… well, she's working on getting Henry back and it's slow-going, but he's at least responding to text messages now and they didn't kill each other in the car on Sunday. She has responsibilities, she can't go getting lost in some man only to find out he's grown bored of her and wind up with her heart broken again.




Ohhhh Emma!!!! Noooooooooooo

kmomof4
Thank you," Emma says. "For…"

"The best sex of your life, it's okay to say it," Killian says, the smile turning into a grin.




Lol!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ take that Emma!!!

kmomof4
"Don't get cocky. It was pretty good," she admits, and he laughs. "But that's all it was, okay?" The amusement in his face fades as he tries to figure out what she means. She shifts her weight a little. "This was a one-time thing. I can't - I don't do - It was fun, but that's all it was."




Ughhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo

initiala
mhuirnín is like "my sweetheart"
a ghrá geal is like "my brightest love/soulmate"

kmomof4
You should have heard my gasp!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
Killian holds out her car keys and she takes them, maybe a little too swiftly, and fiddles with her keychain before saying, "Just… don't leave, okay?"

She bolts out the door and into the drizzle before he can ask what she means.




And there it is... you care for him Emma!!!! It's ok!!!! He won't break your heart!!!!

kmomof4
David's brow furrows curiously. "You didn't look like that when you left, did you? You're all… disheveled."

Mary Margaret looks just short of delighted. "Yes, Emma, why are you so disheveled this evening?"
kmomof4 sent a GIF


kmomof4
It's easier than having Mary Margaret pick at her about what really happened that afternoon - not that she's ashamed of sleeping with Killian. It's just that Mary Margaret has a tendency to jump from point A to point J really quickly and leave everyone else wondering how she got there. Emma doesn't want Mary Margaret to overthink this, because there is no 'this'.




Emma in the tenacious grip of denial is hysterical!!!! See gif above.

kmomof4
Emma has this suspicion that she could say she needed anything - a ride to the border, a getaway car, someone to pick up Leo from daycare, help hiding a body - and all he'd ask was what time and where. She doesn't know what she's done to earn that kind of loyalty but it's more than a little terrifying - even more terrifying than the way she felt better just by hearing him say her name.




❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
She swore she wouldn't do this again, but her hand is already fisting in his shirt, pulling him down scant inches to meet her lips. The tension that'd been building at the base of her neck vanishes as she breathes him in, feels the soft tease of his lips against hers, his soft sigh music to her ears. It feels good, it feels right, why the hell is she fighting this?


VERY GOOD QUESTION EMMA!!!!!
His hand comes up to cup the back of her head, his tongue teasing her lips to open, when two things happen: a pack of wolf-whistles and taunts in multiple languages erupts to her right and a girlish gasp of delight sounds from her left.
kmomof4 sent a GIF


kmomof4
"Yeah, that's the thing, there's no 'together', there's just - there's no me and Killian."




Didn't look that way to me!!!! 😆
Elsa arches an eyebrow at her. "It looked like there was a you-and-Killian to me."




NO!!!! I did NOT read this before making my comment above!!!!
Ruby's already in the control room when they arrive. She looks like the cat that's got the canary and there's a sinking feeling in Emma's stomach. "Elsa. Emma," Ruby says knowingly.




😆😆😆😆😆😆oh I LOVE it!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ruby spins her seat around to face Emma. Emma is strongly reminded of some supervillain, like Dr. Evil or Dr. Claw - seriously, who was giving out Ph.D's in evil? - and the only thing missing is some animal for Ruby to stroke menacingly. "Emma, what's the spin on the paddock camera?"
kmomof4 sent a GIF


kmomof4
"Thank you," Ruby says. "Now, why aren't you and cowboy knocking boots already?"

"We aren't -"

Elsa sits, ripping open a new tea bag and dipping it in her mug. "You haven't even thought about it?"

"I mean, I can't say that -"

"Seriously, girl, get on that before someone else does! At least ride him around the corral once. For me. Please," Ruby begs.




Oh come ON Emma!!!! Tell them!!! Have some girlfriends!!!!

kmomof4
Elsa's expression changes to sympathy. "You're scared because you've been hurt in the past. Believe me, I understand that. But I don't think Mr. Jones is the kind of man you're used to dealing with."

Emma scratches at her tattoo. "But what if he is?" she asks softly, and she hates herself for sounding weak.




BLESS her!!!!!

kmomof4
Elsa shrugs. "So don't put a label on it. Be one of those groovy New Age people who live in the moment." Emma's mouth opens soundlessly and she stares for a full minute before Elsa starts to giggle. "Okay, that was ridiculous, I'll give you that. Look, if it goes badly, I'll buy you a tub of ice cream and we'll let Ruby pick out the movies. But I don't think you're going to need that. It might be different and it might be scary, but just… Just give it a chance, okay?"

Suddenly, Emma remembers Anna that morning and talking about moving and doctors and other things Emma doesn't fully understand and then she wonders if Elsa's giving her advice or trying to give herself advice. And she realizes it doesn't really matter as long as at least one of them takes it.




😊
And then she's crashing into him, sending him stumbling just before their lips meet for the second time today and he's elated and confused all at once. She's going to drive him mad, between declarations of a one time thing and then asking him not to leave, then kissing him again this morning and now she's throwing herself at him? He pulls away gently as confusion wins out. "Emma, love, you can't do this to a man -"

She puts a finger on his lips to silence him. "Do you want this? Me?"
kmomof4 sent a GIF


kmomof4
"Téigh trasna ort féin,"
There's a high-pitched squeal that leaves his ears ringing as soon as he enters. "Bloody hell," he curses, just before he's tackled by something small.

"I can't believe it! I mean, I can, I totally saw how you two looked at each other last month, but I can't believe it! I'm so happy for you guys, it's so exciting! Are you excited? Are you taking her anywhere for your first date, or did you do that already? Where did you go, how was -" Anna babbles until Killian gently removes her arms from around him and then she looks sheepishly contrite. "Sorry. Got it. Take it down from a ten to a four. But I'm so excited for you two!"




😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

kmomof4
Emma gives him an odd look as she takes the offered cup, halfway between scrutiny and confusion. "Thanks," she says slowly.

His eyebrows come together worriedly as anxiety twists itself into knots in his chest. "Is this - I mean, should I not have -"




Ohhhh bless him!!!

kmomof4
"Swan, you're going to have to tell me when I've missed a memo," he says, not looking up. "I seem to be doing that a lot with you."

She frowns, unease creeping up in her chest. "I don't understand."




Get a clue Emma!

kmomof4
"You feel like we should keep contact here at a minimum, for propriety's sake," Killian says. Emma nods. His mouth works for a moment, then he says, "That's not all of it, is it?"




Very good Killian!

kmomof4
But as June fades into July, Emma really, truly can't remember a time she's been happier.




😊

kmomof4
He pauses in the doorway to the bedroom, drinking in a different sight. Emma's curled around the pillow that's become hers, the bedsheet mostly covering her for modesty's sake and leaving her long legs free. Her hair spills around her head, dark on this mostly moonless night. The pull to join her in bed is only slightly stronger than the urge to remain awake and be sure she isn't some kind of dream sent to torment him with a reality he cannot have.




Bless him!!!!

kmomof4
He presses a kiss to the back of her head, murmuring a good night, but she doesn't respond, already asleep. Sleep eludes him, but he finds he doesn't mind as long as she's there with him. It's new and it's terrifying to look down at the woman in his arms and only be capable of one thought, the one thing that would frighten her the most: I think I'm in love with you.
kmomof4 sent a GIF


initiala sent a GIF


kmomof4
When Killian gives up and takes the opportunity to put his arm around her, she starts thinking this might have been some devious plot hatched by Mary Margaret. As they come back down and the lack Killian's arm around her leaves her a little cooler, Emma decides that's not the case. Even her meddling sister-in-law can't have stooped so low as to try to use her son as a matchmaker.




Of course she is!!!!!

kmomof4
So when the fireworks start and she's pretty sure everyone else is enamored with the lights and sounds in the sky, Emma leans over and kisses Killian. "Swan," he murmurs against her lips after a moment. "Not that I mind, but your family -"

"I don't care," she whispers fiercely.

Killian returns the kiss with enthusiasm, reaching up to cup the side of her face gently. Emma's not sure if Mary Margaret's gasp is from the fireworks display or the very public display of affection.

And happily, Emma really, really doesn't care.




❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
(Later, after she's had coffee and a shower, she'll realize that in the middle of July it's smart to start early and avoid most of the heat. For now, though, she's tired and grumpy and considering spending the next two weeks at Killian's. Which really doesn't sound half bad at all.)




No... no it doesn't!
Today at 4:17 PM

kmomof4
Is it really Leo you're worried about getting too attached? the traitorous part of her brain asks. Emma ignores that voice. She's good at that.




😏

kmomof4
Most of the mail is bills or business stuff for David or Mary Margaret, but there's one plain envelope addressed to her. Emma tosses the rest onto the hall table as she looks at it; she doesn't recognize the return address, but the handwriting is vaguely familiar.




Oh please don't let it be Neal!
Crud...

kmomof4
"Killian Jones, ma'am," he says, sticking out his hand. "I'm a friend of the family, and Emma's…" he hesitates a moment, fumbling for the right word. Inamorato, admirer? Concubine, gentleman caller... Gigolo? Suitor? Paramour? Damn. "Partner."




😆😆😆

kmomof4
Oh no!!!!! The letter is going to make Emma reserved and distant and Killian will be clueless as to why!

kmomof4
Leo comes bounding over and tugs on Killian's arm. "Uncle 'Ian, come play monster trucks with us!"

Killian's heart stutters in his chest as he feels Emma tense in his arms. "I didn't tell him to say that," she whispers fiercely.

"Never said you did, love," he murmurs faintly. He releases Emma and crouches down to be at Leo's eye level. The lad's watching him with a grin full of adoration. "Maybe in a bit we'll do monster trucks, lad," Killian tells Leo. "Can I ask why you've chosen to call me uncle?"

Leo shrugs. "You kissed Aunt Emma. Aunts are supposed to kiss uncles," he says, his tone suggesting it's the most obvious thing in the world.




😆😆😆😆❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ of COURSE it is!!!!
And I'm so glad that Emma didn't completely lie to him and tell him she was fine!!!!

kmomof4
"Are you gonna have a baby?" Roland asks.

It's a miracle Emma doesn't flee the premises immediately, though he can tell from the quick step back that she wants to. Killian, meanwhile, barks a laugh. "Why do you ask?"

Roland shrugs. "Aunts and uncles are mommies and daddies. Mommies and daddies have babies. You don't have a baby."




This is PRICELESS!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️😆😆😆
It's Emma who finally clears her throat, sounding like she'd rather be anywhere else in the world as she says, "What about your dad and Regina? They don't have a baby."

Roland looks at her incredulously. "Of course not!" he exclaims - if he knew the word, Killian's quite certain the statement would have been punctuated with 'duh'. "They got me, why do they need a baby?"




😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

kmomof4
Killian's thrusts are slow, almost lazy, as he kisses her more, his fingers tangling in her hair. Emma's feeling overwhelmed again from this gentle fucking - no, making love. Killian's making love to her, and it's terrifying and wonderful and she's pretty sure her heart's going to burst from this unnamed emotion filling her. She doesn't want to put a name to it, doesn't want to make herself more vulnerable to this man than she already is.

(She knows what it is and that's what terrifies her the most. It's too soon, how can she feel lo - No. No labels, just Emma and Killian.)




*Happy sigh* ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
Two, she may very well be falling in lo - growing really, really attached to him. She's very fond of him, she's realizing, and while she's scared of that prospect, there's another part of her that's oddly calm about it. She doesn't feel the urge to run as strongly as she has before, the prospect of never being held by him again - cared for like this again - more heart wrenching than the thought of protecting her own feelings.




❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
He has a few minutes to spare, gladly giving up the luxury of a lengthy shower in favor of holding her after being denied the privilege the night before. He has to make up for lost time, after all. He makes no moves to ravish her, though, simply enjoying the skin-on-skin contact, the way their bodies fit together as if they were made for one another. Gradually, her breathing evens out as her body falls limp against his - she's fallen asleep again.




❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
She'll be home soon.

'Get a grip, little brother, it's too early to consider such things. Bad form,' Liam's voice is in his ear.

And Killian knows this, knows it's far, far too early to consider asking her to stay with him, make this a proper home, but the thought still sends a pang of longing through him. When did I start to think of this place - any place - as home? he wonders.

'I suppose when you found someone to make home a worthwhile place to be,' Liam says. Or maybe Killian thinks it, he's not sure anymore.




*Happy sigh*

kmomof4
Tá tú glan as do mheabhair bean,
?

kmomof4
He wants to shout right back at her, wants to rave about how he can't abide her being unhappy, how he's just trying to help. But he forces his voice to remain level, even if it is strained. "Sure, I'm just your boyfriend, why should I care at all if you're upset?!"

"You are not my boyfriend!"




Knew that was coming. *Sigh* 😞

kmomof4
Killian looks at her, the whisky fogging up his brain more and more. "Tá brón orm," he says softly. "A ghrá geal."

"What's that mean?" Emma asks, wrapping her arms around her knees again, resting her head on them.

"It means I'm sorry," he translates, feeling the tips of his ears start to burn from embarrassment.

She shakes her head. "No, the other thing. You've said that before," she says.

Killian clears his throat, wishing the already dark stall was darker so she can't pick out how flushed he is - or that she's tipsy enough not to notice. "It's - there's no English for it, not really. One of those things that don't have the full effect with your clumsy language," he says, throwing her a grin, hoping it distracts her. "Just an endearment."




My brightest love/soulmate.
*Swoon* ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

initiala
"Tá tú glan as do mheabhair bean" is something like "you crazy woman"

kmomof4
Lol!!!!
Certainly neither one of them had been able to keep their hands off the other when they were alone. But she doesn't want to bother him, not after forcing herself into his space for almost five full days. She's sure he's sick of her by now and wants his space, and Lord knows she's damaged this fragile thing between them enough for one week.



He's not Emma!!!!! He wants you there all the time!!!!

initiala
god dammit I'm getting butterflies over my own fic lmao

kmomof4
Lol!
She keeps telling herself that Killian wouldn't leave her over that - if he hasn't already, then he probably isn't (right?) - but then he still feels a bit withdrawn. He always kisses her or holds her and tells her nothing is wrong, but she's got that thing about lying and it's going off all the time now. Kind of. It's not that he's lying, because she'd call him out on it if he was, but he's just… not telling her the whole truth. And it's starting to freak her out. A lot.

Please don't leave me. Please let me be enough.




It's time to tell her Killian. Even if she runs, it's time to tell her.