Storybrooke Downs Liveblog pt 4

kmomof4
We're in the hospital. It seems to me that Emma is in shock and I keep waiting for her to keel over.

kmomof4
So, now I'll go and read the others. Since you mentioned them in your notes.

kmomof4
He sighs, and sets down his pen, looking at her finally. "I am being serious. I love you, and I love our life together. I love our boys, and I love that they love each other. And if you wanted to add to our family, then I would be overjoyed, and I would love our son or daughter no less than I do my own son or yours. But we talked about this before we married, your fears and troubles conceiving, and how Henry existing at all was a miracle in and of itself. And I told you it didn't matter, that I loved - love - you, not any ability to give us more children."




Awwwwwwwwwwwwww

kmomof4
Finally, he sighs, and then he breaks into a grin. "All right. There's nothing wrong with trying. But at the first sign that something is amiss, or the doctors say it's unsafe for you, we're abandoning the plan. I couldn't bear to lose you, not when we spent so long trying to find each other."




I love them so much!!!!!!! OutlawQueen forever!!!!!

kmomof4
Mr. Gold looks thoughtful. "Henry, what would you think if I pulled some information from my contacts in the jockey associations? Or if I introduced you to some people who could help you?"

Henry almost drops his water bottle. "No way," he says.

Mr. Gold grins. "Yes way," he says, his tone almost teasing. "Despite your mother and Miss Swan's claims to the contrary, there is more than one way to become a jockey. All it takes is the right word to the right person."




😳

kmomof4
Henry glances over his shoulder once before heading into the shade of the stables. He can't keep the grin off his face, not even when Mr. Smee calls down the row that Henry's late coming back. He's going to be a jockey!




Oh Henry... don't trust Gold!!!

kmomof4
Heller, De Vil, Brown & Pendragon, LLC.




So who's Brown?

initiala
Brown is Ursula

kmomof4
Ok. That's what I thought.

kmomof4
The third time had been the worst: she'd actually gotten to the second trimester and Daniel cried for almost two weeks. He'd tried to hide it from her, but a few times she'd woken up in the middle of the night and he'd be gone. She'd hear him down the hall. The first few times she'd let him mourn in private - she knew the need to grieve alone well - but after the first week she always went to him, sitting on the cold linoleum of their tiny apartment's tinier bathroom and mourning what could have been together.




😫😫😫😫😫💔💔💔💔💔

kmomof4
You should see my grin! Their lovemaking was beautiful!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
She doesn't bring up the thought that perhaps the baby they've been talking about having and planning ahead for might be a girl. His confusion is understandable, even if it's mildly irritating. There's a deeply gendered stigma around these sorts of things. But both Regina and Emma have been in and around the racing world for years and have witnessed or heard all sorts of stories about jockeys -

Regina can actually feel the blood draining from her face as she puts the pieces together.

Emma's right.

"Henry wants to be a jockey," Regina whispers.

Robin - new-to-racing Robin, steadfast and jovial Robin with a temper as slow to build as her own is quick - takes only a moment to understand before he curses the air so blue that Regina could almost blush. However, she echoes the sentiment and can only be relieved that he understands the severity of the implication. "We leave as soon as we can tonight," Robin says, the muscle in his jaw jumping as he grinds his teeth. "And we are going to have a discussion with our son. This goes on not one day longer."




*Lightbulb*
Scary!!!!
Oh my goodness!!!!!!! And this is the night of the accident!!!!!!!!

kmomof4
she hates herself for getting so wrapped up in herself that she didn't even notice this happening. "I'm here now, sweetheart," Regina murmurs softly. "I'm here now and everything's going to be okay now."

She doesn't know if it's even the truth. It's going to be a long time before 'okay' even remotely fits them. But sometimes moms have to tell little white lies. Sometimes it's for their kids, but mostly it's for themselves.




💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

kmomof4
Oh my goodness!!!! Regina's story!!!!! 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

kmomof4
Regina didn't wake up this morning intending to have a list of people to murder by day's end, but here she is, and Gold's name has been bumped to the top of the list. After the fiasco last spring where he tried to start half a dozen rumors about Emma, some of them involving Robin, Regina's been looking for more of an excuse to figuratively kick his ass. (Emma had taken care of the literal part, naturally.) "Oh he did, did he?" she asks flatly, her mind already going in a hundred directions for how to fix this.

Gold would have to be removed. Restraining order, obviously, and if Regina had her way he'd be removed from the Horn altogether. Legally, it would be a bit tricky, but she could manage something. Mal would help for certain - child endangerment was one of her pet areas and if this didn't qualify, nothing did - but they'd need someone in criminal law to help, probably. There's that Zelena Mills in the sister office - she's a bit terrifying to watch in action, but if anyone could outsmart Gold it would probably be her. They could use the Neal angle, Gold had backed out rather quickly last fall…

"Mom."

Regina blinks. Henry's looking at her rather pointedly. "You had your scary face on again."




Oh that was great!!!!!!!!

kmomof4
I don't think I've kudosed any of these!!!! How can that be????
Yesterday at 10:55 PM

kmomof4
Emma shivers violently, even if it's still fairly warm for late September. She needs to leave, needs to move and get all of this out of her head - even if her brisk steps on the pavement provide a cadence for the words repeating again and again in her mind:

My fault, my fault, my fault.




Bless her!!!!

kmomof4
She'll come around, Killian thinks, settling in for a bit of a doze. I don't want to imagine what this must have been like for her. Worried herself sick, I'll bet.

Emma's just replaced some of her armor, that's all. He's helped her remove it before, and he can certainly do it again.




I can't tell you how happy his attitude makes me!!!

initiala sent a GIF


kmomof4
"I took the morning off," Mary Margaret snaps. Emma starts to respond, but her sister-in-law continues. "Not for you, believe it or not. I have an OB appointment this morning. Nagging you to get your shit together is just a bonus."




GO M&M!!!!!!!!!

kmomof4
Bullshit, he writes. I'm worried about you, darling, you're behaving oddly.




Oddly... the understatement of the century!!!!!

kmomof4
Anger, hot and white, thaws her frozen body enough to finally form words. "That's the whole problem!" she cries. "Everyone is worried about me and I'm the only one who's fine in all of this! Regina won't let me see Henry - she says he's okay, but she's the one who's been denying that he's slowly killing himself for months! Elsa had another accident and it's my fault because I didn't show up for work. And you -" Her voice breaks and she falls silent, her lips trembling as she tries to rein in her emotions again. She takes a shuddering breath "You got hurt because of me."




FINALLY!!!!!!!!

kmomof4
He sighs in exasperation, taking her hand and placing it firmly on his chest - over his heart. Gently, he grips her chin and makes her look up at him. He points to himself, then at her, and then covers her hand with his own, staring at her so intently that Emma wants to break down again. She's bewildered for a moment, trying to figure out his meaning - then her eyes widen and she freezes. "Killian -"




Awwwwwwwwwww, he's telling her isn't he????!!!!!! He's telling her he loves her!!!!!!!!!

kmomof4
But she can't.

"I can't do this," she says again, what feels like the millionth time in the last four days. He's sick and he doesn't know what he's doing. "I - I need to think, I need -"

She needs to leave. Now.




EMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

kmomof4
I'm DYING!!!!!!!!!!! Oh I'm so glad I'm reading this when it's finished. I think I really would have died waiting for updates!

initiala
hahahaha, yeah i got a lot of really angry comments. it was about 6-8 weeks between updates at this point

kmomof4
Getting in Killian's head... 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

kmomof4 sent a GIF

kmomof4 sent a GIF


initiala sent a GIF

drink up, babe

kmomof4 sent a GIF


initiala sent a GIF


kmomof4
"What the fuck else was I supposed to do?"

"Deal with it like a goddamn adult! Don't try to fucking kill yourself over something that isn't fucking worth it!"

He snorts derisively, ignoring the stab of pity that she still thinks of herself that way. "I don't know how they do things in America, Swan, but in Ireland we drink when someone we love leaves us."

"You were never supposed to fall in love with me!" she shouts.

"Well I'm sorry for being bloody fucking human!" he roars back.




I'm sorry, but this makes me happy...

kmomof4
How much longer is this going to last?????!!!!! Oh my goodness!!!!!!!

kmomof4
No, she's gone and fucked up someday by letting her temper get the better of her, getting scared, tossing his feelings back in his face, and running away. She's good at that, getting out before things get messy and people get hurt.

But if she's so good at not getting hurt, why does she feel like her body's turning itself inside out?




On the one hand, I am absolutely furious with Emma. And on the other I just want to gather her up and hug her until she understands.

initiala
There were a loooottttt of people in the "furious at Emma, woobiefy Killian" camp

kmomof4
Thinking of Neal now, Emma sighs, running her hand over her back pocket where the letter she's been avoiding for three months is stuffed. The thought of opening still makes her want to throw up, but Killian - or rather, Belle speaking through Killian - thinks it's important. Emma's been doing a lot of running lately.

It's kind of exhausting.




PLEASE Emma, stop running!!!!!

kmomof4
Emma just hopes that Tallahassee can wait.




FINALLY!!!!
And saw what you did there with Neal and Emma. ❤️❤️

initiala
which part?? :)
Today at 10:28 AM

kmomof4
From Quiet Minds. Good morning.

initiala
ohh yeah, I forgot about that reference. morning!!
Today at 11:41 AM

kmomof4
Killian leans back, tossing his arm over the back of the chair. He doesn't know how to explain the relationship he and Emma had shared, how so many things had been off the table for discussion for so long. He's starting to realize how little they really had shared - mostly their bodies, only a little of their lives. Part of him knew that, the part that wanted her to make a decision and fully be with him or not, but the truth was that he hadn't given it the full weight of thought it deserved. He'd lashed out, hurt that Emma had left him at such a critical moment, but now he's starting to wonder if there was more to it than just a lack of love. He'd realized back in the spring that there was a lot more to her than met the eye, but he'd lost sight of it somewhere along the way.




This is beautifully written. Well done Killian!!!! Well done YOU!!!
Today at 4:09 PM

kmomof4
*Happy sigh*
I'm so glad they talked!!!!!

kmomof4
Killian loves her. He just doesn't trust her right now.

And then it hits her like an avalanche.

God, she's so stupid.




YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

kmomof4
It's not the first time she's had to put herself back together, but at least this time she knows she's not alone.
kmomof4 sent a GIF

kmomof4 sent a post that's no longer available
kmomof4 sent a post that's no longer available

kmomof4
But Killian, your world is very small. I know your job is part of who you are, but sometimes it's good to have someone in your life who doesn't live, eat, and breathe horses. Find someone who likes footy, learn how to weave baskets underwater, find a hobby or something!"




ROBIN!!!!!!

kmomof4
They try to drag a few nuggets of truth out of Killian's own stories - more the yarns woven by the press than anything he's told them - but he's an honored graduate from the school of weaving pub tales.




*Giggles*

kmomof4
But he's still surprised when he opens the door and finds Belle standing there, her posture tense and her face worried; Will's right at her back, watching over his shoulder. There's two suitcases with them. Killian glances between them and the cases for a moment, trying to figure out what this might mean, but before he can ask what the bloody hell is going on here, Belle asks, "Killian, remember when you said you owed me?"

"Aye," he answers warily.

"I'm calling in that favor. I need to hide here for a while."




I had a feeling this was coming. Now I want to see ScarletBeauty!!!

initiala sent a GIF


kmomof4
Mary Margaret nods, her face grim. She waits until David turns the music down to explain. "Apparently she just showed up at Killian's door with two suitcases on Thursday and she's been staying there ever since."

Emma feels a chill drip down her spine. He wouldn't, she thinks desperately. She grits her teeth, trying to focus on something other than this horrible spiral she feels coming on. Her wrists start to itch and she grips the dishcloth in her hand harder to stop herself from scratching. No, he promised, he - he said we -




Oh Emma NOOOOO!!!

kmomof4
Henry texts her that night about coming over with a surprise on Saturday. Emma rereads the message a few times warily, about ten different scenarios running through her mind, before carefully wording her response. 'Am I going to like the surprise?'

'Emma you're defeating the purpose of a surprise'

'I don't like surprises kid.'




Puppy...
Today at 8:53 PM

kmomof4
"Mrs. Gold, is your husband Robert Gold?"

Belle doesn't bat an eye. "Yes, sir."

The officer makes a noise like a restrained sigh, then pulls out a pair of handcuffs. Emma's heart leaps into her throat. "Wait, what are you -"




Crud... knew this was coming!
The whole section before of Emma's thoughts about everything... black, white, gray was soooooo well written! It really, REALLY showed how much she's grown!!!!

kmomof4
Emma freezes, then glances up. Sure enough, there's a sprig of mistletoe dangling from the top - a sprig that definitely hadn't been there earlier. Her eyes narrow; she definitely smells a rat somewhere. "Son of a…"

Her gaze drops back to him when Roland giggles. "You gotta kiss, that's tradition!" he explains.

Right. Of course.

Carefully ignoring Killian's presence behind her - and definitely not thinking how he's reacting to this - she glances around the room, Emma spots Henry looking entirely too interested in whatever's on his phone; kid's got a terrible poker face. Her mouth twists as she swiftly puts the pieces together; she'll have a conversation with him later about this. Her gaze finds Regina, who has a careful mask of mild interest in place, but her eyes give her away. Oh, we are going to talk about this... Holding back a sigh, Emma looks back at Roland, crouching down to his level. "You know what, kiddo, I'm pretty sure the rules mean that whoever catches you under the mistletoe has to kiss you. And I think that's you."




😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

kmomof4
I'm on my second marriage, mate. I can tell you that things are not peachy keen twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. You'll hurt her without even thinking. One day the peanut butter jar will be in the cupboard and there will hardly be enough left for one spoonful and you'll just have a go at each other. One of you will work too much, one of you will feel like you carry too much of the burden of the home or the relationship." Robin's smile is a bit wistful. "You might try to have a child to save your marriage and fail spectacularly at it."




Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????!!!!! They're not having problems are they????!!!!!
Oh ok. Nevermind. Robin and Marion.

kmomof4
He grips her hand in his, taking in the feel of her smooth skin against the roughness of his fingers. He slides his thumb down her fingers as he brings her hand up, meeting her eyes. There's caution there, and if he's not mistaken, hope. She gives him a tentative smile. "Mistletoe," he says quietly, before pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

Her eyes search his, a hundred emotions flickering through her face. His heart sinks as the hopeful look in her eye dies, the smile fades. Instead, confusion reigns supreme, with a side of hurt as he releases her and steps back.

You'll hurt her without even thinking.

"Happy Christmas, Emma," Killian says softly, dropping his gaze and backing away from her towards the door.

Robin was right.

Killian shoves his feet into his boots, slinging his coat over his shoulder as he opens the door and steps out. It's started to snow, just a bit, and the wind is brisk on his cheeks as he closes the door behind him, feeling Emma's eyes on him the whole time.




Oh Killian!!!

initiala
Yeah, I had a hard time coming up with how Robin and Marian ended their marriage without her dying, since she's, y'know, obviously alive in this world, so there was a little bit of backstory hint here for them that I didn't really get into. OQ is still sickeningly in love with each other, no worries

kmomof4
"Oh my God, look at the smile on her face," Ruby tells Victor as Emma taps out a response. "Seriously, it's a text and she look like he wrote her a romance novel."

"I do not," Emma says, smiling even wider as she lies right through her teeth.

"You are so ridiculous, both of you," Ruby declares.




😆😆😆❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
Instead of replying, Killian takes a picture of the DVD cases. Will scoffs. "Mate, just fuckin' ask her out again."

"Watch it, Scarlet."

"I am. I'm watchin' you make disgusting lovey-dovey eyes at a bloody mobile," Will says, propping his chin on his hand. "Don't be a wanker, Killian."




😆😆😆❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

kmomof4
A new year. New possibilities, new chances - maybe only in spirit, but Emma let herself have that hope tonight, here, surrounded by everyone else who clung to that same hope for a better, happier new year ahead.

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.




❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️